Today I’m just going to write how I feel. You know back in the day when I would have a falling out with a friend It was probably the worst thing in the world. It was the end of the world because if I didn’t have my friends, who else did I have? That was how child me and teenage me(still a child) and even college me ( adult age but still child mindest) thought. With every falling out or argument or refusal to speak to one another my mom would always say the same thing and I never understood her. She would say, ” Do you think your friends you have now will always be your friends? Do you think they will always support you and help you? Do you really believe they will be around for every chapter you write in your life?” Foolishly I would answer, “Yes, they’re my best friends, they are like sisters to me.” She would just chuckle and tell me I had a lot to learn. I would watch her make friends and then see those same friends stop being her friends, the reasons not really clear to me other than it looked like either growing apart or jealousy (My mom was a bomb hairstylist so if you know how some shops can be then you know). I still didn’t understand but one day it suddenly clicked because I started to see what she was talking about. People outgrow people. People get jealous, and sometimes people are just opportunist and they only friends with you for what you can do for them and sometimes we misinterpret relationships. Sometimes we think an acquaintance is more than that and they don’t feel that way about you. I sure have done that before. I have bared my heart and soul to someone I felt was going to be like one of my best friends ever. She was very similar to me and we enjoyed alot of the same things but I kept getting this strange vibe that I didn’t want to listen to. Needless to say that particular friendship ( or trainwreck would be a better descriptive word) did not last long. I was very upset about it specifically because it happened while I was pregnant with one of my littles and I was very depressed as well. Later on down the road I started to see how much of a toxic person she was and I was blessed that we had gone our seperate ways. I’ve had my share of those but when I realized everything my mom was saying was the truth, that your circle may grow or decrease in size for various reasons but there was no need to cry over spilled milk, it felt like being in the dark for a long time and then finally the light was turned on. I say all this to say everyone you encounter isn’t going to be with you for your whole life or even be your friend or a good one for that matter but every encounter can be a learning experience like a season.
The Little Black Mama 