Things I Wish I Knew Before my First Labor and Delivery

Black maternal health week was last week but in honor of it I wanted to share my birth experiences with the hopes that it might help another first time mother. The black mother mortality rate due to labor is high compared to other races, so it is important that we are vigilant in being aware of everything available to us as well as educating those around us so that in the event that anything happens, our death can be prevented.

My first labor was long and hard and ended with a beautiful healthy baby girl but almost lead to the death of a young black mother. I wasn’t aware of the fact that I had Pre-eclampsia as my doctor never even mentioned it to me. I was allowed to go full term (I delivered about a week before my due date) with my blood pressure so high that when I went to the ER the night I was induced, the nurses said they were surprised I wasn’t having a seizure. They gave me magnesium and Pitocin to help keep me from having any seizures and to kick start my labor. They immediately asked me did I want an epidural, and as a first time mother being told that my labor would be 10 times more intense than the average, I quickly said yes. Over the next hours, I became extremely limp. I was unable to move on my own, but before that happened they made me sign paperwork saying that if they had to do a C-section and I became unable to consent or agree on my own that this was my approval or denial of such treatment. I signed not knowing what was ahead. I got to the point where I couldn’t even talk or move my head. Somehow my magnesium levels were triple the normal amount.

I was so afraid my daughter and I were going to die.

I could only lay there, and I never dilated past 6 cm. Finally my doctor ordered that everything be turned off. After the magnesium was turned off, little by little I was able to move again. When they performed the C-section I was only able to fully move and talk again towards the end of it all.

She came at 11:22PM on May 11th, exactly 24 hours after we started the whole ordeal. Although the nursing staff was wonderful and they all wanted to help, I was told that my magnesium was so high because my body started to produce it on it’s own. The reality of the situation was the staff made a mistake and turned up the magnesium instead of the Pitocin and no one caught the mistake until my doctor did.

I went on to have 2 additional VBACs, my last being the best and most smooth birth I could ever imagine and I believe it was because of my midwife as well as I became vigilant and did a lot research before I went into labor.

I wish I knew not to rush into getting an epidural

My first 2 births, I rushed getting and epidural. I was afraid of the pain that my labor may have brought and didn’t realize that getting the epidural may have slowed down the rate at which I dilated. It took several hours for me to dilate on my first VBAC. I waited on my last VBAC until the pain was so intense I could barely breathe, not to mention I was on pitocin my last VBAC because Bella had her first bowel movement in the womb. I was having contractions ever 30 seconds. I was around 5 cm dilated when I asked for the epidural. I had to have 2 rounds of an IV before they could give me the epidural which took around 45mins on a fast drip. When I was administered my epidural I was 8cm dilated and my midwife came in and told me, you have about 2 hours to sleep before having to push now that you have the epidural. She was right, I didn’t start pushing until about 2 hours from when I got the epidural and I pushed for 45 mins.

I wish I knew you could ask for a mirror

No one ever told me that you could have a mirror to use while you are pushing. My midwife just casually asked me while I was pushing if I wanted a mirror. I was so excited when she asked, I couldn’t believe that was available to me. She said, “Most hospitals have them, you just have to ask for them.” I was surprised, the mirror helped me see what was an effective push and what wasn’t, you would think they’d offer it to every mother delivering but they didn’t. I was lucky to have a midwife that cared and was there during my delivery to help coach me through it. She even brought oils to provide extra slip and prevent me from tearing, which happened with my first VBAC.

I wish someone told me to wait to go to the hospital

My first delivery I am glad I didn’t wait, as pre-eclampsia can be fatal to mother and baby but my first VBAC I didn’t wait. I wasn’t in horrible pain and my water hadn’t broken when I went, I was just uncomfortable and unable to sleep. My contractions were about a minute apart but not intense at all. I kept peeing and I tossed and turned all night. I looked over at my husband who was peacefully sleeping in the bed next to me and I became upset. I wanted to be able to snore like him, so naturally I woke him up and said we needed to go right away. We went to labor and delivery at 3am and Jaiden didn’t come until 7 pm. When I went into labor with Bella I waited, I tossed and turned all night, I had consistent contractions. I slept as much as I could and my mucus plug came out periodically during the night. That morning I told my husband I felt like I was in labor, he told me to call the midwife, it was a Saturday so I had to leave a message but she called back quickly. She told me to go to labor and delivery and she would call and let them know I was coming. I decided to take a shower and eat first before we left. I was planning to do my makeup as well but my husband didn’t want to risk it even though my water hadn’t broken yet. We arrived at the hospital around noon and I was around 4 and a half cm dilated but my contractions stopped. The midwife and her head doctor agreed to break my water. I did my makeup at the hospital around 12:30 and gave birth to Bella at around 5pm.

I know God has me covered and what isn’t in his plans will not be but these are a few things I wish someone had told me. It is very important to find a doctor/midwife who has you and your little one in mind. I was blessed that God sent me an amazing midwife to work and grow with my last pregnancy and she is my current midwife for this pregnancy. It’s also important to be informed and be aware of everything going on as well as your family so we can take the proper measures to protect our black mamas.